I found myself recounting how many runs and how far I’d run to my friend Rob today – ‘I ran 12.5 miles on Saturday , 4.5 miles on new Years Day and 8 miles this morning with Fi’… I suddenly stopped and said ‘Wow I sound like it’s a new thing for me’.
It does feel like a new thing! This is the silver lining to the cloud of injury – as TS Eliot says
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
The running journey is one of endless exploration – Where am I going? ‘How shall I do this?‘ Can I do this?’ ‘What will I find when I get there’? Who am I? These questions are either consciously or unconsciously asked each time we set off to challenge ourselves to do something we’re not sure is possible.
During my 6 month knee injury, I have of course had some darker thoughts ‘perhaps I won’t come back’ – ‘perhaps my knee is irretrievably damaged’… I believe that we must entertain and face all our thoughts; give the negative ones some air time, give them a ‘cup of tea’ and then send them on their way. If they are not heard then they can sabotage subtly, destroying hope deep within and creating behaviours that don’t help our progress.
And so I kept believing I would run free and fast again and I have kept working hard in the gym. The joy of running on Saturday morning over 12miles on the downs in the rain and wind and mist with my friends Jim and Chris was complete. ‘Hey Jim’ I said at one point ‘Are you impressed with how fit the rowing machine has kept me’? This was after a realization an hour into the run that I had arranged to meet Jim and Chris at the Lamb, but neglected to ask what distance was planned, until about an hour in, I realised that we also now were about an hour out!
Jim was suitably impressed!
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