Fi www.runningfreeonline.com spent yesterday at a wedding and so today we are going for a later run, as this is her last lie in and then the children go back to school! Therefore I have woken up in relaxed manner with an hour and a half still till we run. It is a beautiful day and I am enjoying that ‘milling around feeling’ – the coffee preparing and my blank page in front of me, both actually, and metaphorically. What does today hold?!
I love September so much, but this feeling is tinged with a slight feeling of nervous anticipation, as I prepare to face a winter ‘being present’ to whatever it brings and embracing it fully!
This is the route to happiness, to be with what is, to choose happiness, to clear the negativity which if we feel it, is within us, not outside, however much it might look that way. Running everyday makes me feel like I am playing, that life really is a playground and we are here to have fun. I particularly feel this way since I don’t feel attached to chasing times or immortality through my running performances.
I have sought this for ever! I could never see why I couldn’t reverse my orientation as I could see where the trap was but still remained firmly stuck in it. Why couldn’t I just train hard, race and then be delighted with what came out ,which was fast in the eighties as I was ‘born fast’! Instead I used to set ‘goals’ that were always incredibly high, usually out of reach and so I would continually ‘fall short’ of my own standards!
If we love to run, then go running, it is a simple action, one foot in front of the other and the more you do it the better you get at it, races are wonderful places to join together and stretch ourselves to see what is possible, to get the best from ourselves, to recognize our competitors as our ‘team mates’ who are there to bring out the best in us and in them.
Running a lot and being with nature puts us in touch with the dance, the physical allowing the spirit to express and instead of becoming anxious and focused on outcomes and results (as I used to be) . Instead you truly learn that the outcome and the result is within each step in the form of freedom and joy.
I can still feel the feeling I experienced in the Davos Mountain race.http://www.swissalpine.ch/cms/overview.phtml It was in July this year and I ran free and released. I ran my heart out! I could literally feel my chest burning in the same way that I remember it feeling when I used to run fearlessly as a 15 year old and ran with the boys in Haslemere Border . I couldn’t keep up, but I ran and ran and ran over the Common-land, loving it. Ihad found my passion, and I was following my bliss for sure. I knew the that had found my way home . I then lost my way through the pressure of the eighties. And I had found it again on the mountainside in Davos…
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