I have just been taking a photo of one of the monkeys that is sitting in a tree outside. I want to send it to my sister, as a reminder of Bundra the monkey my father had as a pet. He also had an African grey parrot called Polly who wolf whistled. A day of so ago as we was walking through the lobby in the hotel Ange and I heard a wolf whistle and there was Polly!
My father lived for 25 years here in Africa, building roads and bridges through the bush, creating aerodromes, working in a country he loved and felt at home in. I now really understand why he so loved it here.
Yesterday at breakfast I was chatting to Ange about him ‘Dear daddy’ she said ‘ you have spoken about him a lot while you’ve been here, in very positive ways’. I have been speaking of him with warmth and I do feel an appreciation of him and a pride in his achievements ; perhaps more than pride, a recognition of him that I resisted giving him when he was alive. We were often engaged in a ‘power struggle’ becauseI felt in many ways un recognized by him – or rather that I fell short and disappointed him. I like feeling positive about my father now, it is very freeing . Ange has known of the struggles he and I had and how much I have worked to free myself from projecting blame onto him and always seeking to understand my own soul journey.
To live fully we must seek to free ourselves from the wounds of our childhood, which inevitably occur when our caretakers are unable to give us what we need at certain times, or hurt us by being impatient or absent or disapproving. This is always due to their own unresolved pain, due to that fact that they are living and therefore parenting unconsciously . This is why the responsibility for becoming conscious, for growing in wholeness lies with us. It is understanding our wounds and taking responsibility for our own healing that we can truly go into responsible adults and create a responsible society.
As we become whole ourselves so we find that the healing goes backwards towards our ancestors and forwards towards our children . Taking responsibility for our own lives is the biggest commitment we make and once we are on that path then we see how we have the possibility of healing the planet interaction by interaction – person to person.
The sun has just risen – Ange and I received an unbooked 6am call – ‘Oh well I said that is our getting up time’ – ‘Obviously!’ replied Ange. We have been drinking tea watching the sun filter through the trees, the beach a hundred yards from us – and now we are of to run – barefoot of course!
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